Lara Schaeffer

ADHD and Autism in Women: Unveiling Hidden Connections

Feb 09, 2024
Three smiling young women embracing neurodiversity.

When in a crowd, how easy is it to pick out the silent figures, the withdrawn wallflowers observing from the outskirts? The reality is that it's not. Much like recognizing those unnoticed in a social gathering, identifying ADHD and autism in women has proven to be a similar challenge. 

Think of it in the same vein as finding a needle in a haystack that doesn't even know it's a needle. Through protective measures, it has dulled its shine, softened its point, and done its best to appear like the hay around it. ADHD and autism exist side by side, sometimes even within the same person, and are easily overlooked due to the subtle nuances in women’s symptoms. Together, they've blended into the background of societal perception—a hidden exception lurking beneath surface understanding. 

Now, think of the hidden dimensions of outer space or our vast oceans—the portions unexplored and underappreciated. Like this natural wonder, the intricacies of ADHD and autism in women need to be uncovered. The tethering link between these conditions, unyielding, complex, and yet so delicately balanced, is a missing piece waiting to be placed within its rightful slot in psychological and personal understanding. This is our expedition, an exploration of this hidden connection, to bring the unseen into the light of recognition. 

In the same manner, as the brave spelunkers venturing into the unknown of an untouched cave, we're embarking on this journey together. We'll illuminate the shadowy corners of misunderstandings, shine a light on the misdiagnoses, and reveal, in all its complexity, the enigmatic connection between ADHD and autism in women, clarifying not just diagnostic criteria but also unspoken experiences and unseen struggles.

This article shines a light on the often-invisible presentations in females, exposes diagnostic biases, and empowers you to navigate the path to an accurate diagnosis/identification. Learn how to recognize the life-altering effects of missed diagnoses and discover pathways to avoid getting lost in the maze. Reclaim your well-being and unlock the support you deserve.


Understanding the Basics: What are ADHD and Autism?

Learn why ADHD is far more complex than simple inattention, explore the intricacies beyond social difficulties in autism, and delve into neurodiversity, a new lens to view both conditions.


ADHD Explained: More Than Just Inattention

ADHD, an acronym for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition hallmarked by persistent patterns of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. However, the nuances of ADHD extend far beyond these commonly recognized traits. 

People with ADHD tend to struggle with executive function - the mental process that coordinates skills essential for work, education, and daily life. These skills include memory, attention, flexibility, emotion regulation, and task initiation. It's no surprise, then, that ADHD has a profound impact on a person's ability to navigate through life efficiently and effectively. 


Autism Unveiled: Beyond Social Difficulties

Autism Spectrum Disorder, often shortened to Autism, is also a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by distinct social interaction and communication challenges and the presence of unique strengths and differences. But just like ADHD, there's more to autism than the basic definition.

For example, many individuals with autism demonstrate exceptionally deep focus, also known as "hyperfocus," a trait that can be harnessed for innovative thinking and problem-solving. Moreover, so-called 'social difficulties' can often be a misalignment between traditional social practices and the unique communication methods of those diagnosed with autism.


Unraveling the Complexities: Symptoms of ADHD and Autism in Women


Identifying ADHD in Women: Beyond the Stereotypes

The narrative surrounding ADHD up until recently has often hinged on hyperactive kids in classrooms. Notably, this stereotype has obscured the recognition of ADHD in adult women. 

While psychiatry has advanced, there are essential nuances for identifying ADHD among women that current narratives miss. 

Women with ADHD might battle chronic disorganization, impulsive decision-making, or struggle to manage their time effectively. Self-criticizing and perfectionist tendencies often shadow their capabilities and strengths. Many women with ADHD also experience emotional dysregulation, manifesting as intense mood swings. 

Because these characteristics look different from common stereotypes, many people might not recognize these traits and behaviors as possible signals of ADHD. But that's precisely why we must move our understanding beyond these widely-held- but dangerously limited- perceptions. 

Equally problematic, individuals themselves with these characteristics may have simply learned to live with them and may figure they are necessary and unavoidable aspects of life. But people with ADHD are now able to recognize and address challenges they face which are above and beyond those of the typical person because of their neurotype.

Recognizing Autism in Women: The Subtle Signs

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) expresses differently between genders, rendering the detection of autism in women particularly challenging - especially when it was not recognized in childhood. 

Firstly, ASD often presents more subtly in women than in most men. That is because many girls and women master mimicking 'normal' social behaviors to blend in, often termed 'masking." While it functions as a survival mechanism for these women, masking also forms a barrier to an accurate diagnosis. 


Statistics and Research:

A 2021 study found that autistic females reported higher masking levels than autistic males.  Research suggests masking contributes to the underdiagnosis of autism in girls and women. One reason for higher masking in females may be increased pressure to conform to societal expectations of femininity, which often differ from autistic traits.

Studies have also linked masking to negative consequences for autistic individuals, including mental health issues, burnout, and identity confusion.

In addition, the diagnostic tools and criteria for autism lean towards weighing observable behaviors, often more prominent in men. This gender bias might contribute significantly to the underdiagnosis of ASD in women. 


Research validating bias:

  • Sampling bias: Research often favors male participants, leading to male presentations of autism being emphasized in diagnostic tools and criteria. This overlooks potential differences in how ASD manifests in females. (Lai et al., 2015; Cassidy et al., 2018)

  • Focus on observable behaviors: Current diagnostic tools primarily focus on overt, observable behaviors. However, females with ASD may be better at camouflaging or masking their traits, making their difficulties less readily apparent. (Hull et al., 2021; Livingston et al., 2022)

  • Social communication bias: Traditional emphasis on social communication difficulties in diagnosis might miss females who struggle more with internal aspects like social understanding or restricted interests. (Lai et al., 2014; Hoekstra et al., 2007)

Neurodivergent women often navigate a misdiagnosis maze, facing biased criteria and those who overlook what can be subtle signs.


The Gender Bias in ADHD and Autism Diagnosis

ADHD and autism, often associated with male presentations, can manifest differently in women, also leading to underdiagnoses. The existing diagnostic criteria were predominantly based on studies of boys, contributing to a gender bias in recognition and diagnosis. This disparity leads to many women with ADHD or autism falling through the cracks, their symptoms downplayed or wrongly attributed to other conditions.

This gender bias travels beyond the diagnostic room into research labs, where studies on ADHD and autism are predominantly male-centered. As a result, our understanding of these conditions threatens to continue to be skewed towards male presentations rather than a full and inclusive spectrum. 


Bias in research studies:

  • A 2019 review by Lai et al. found that 79% of autism research participants were male, despite a known female diagnosis rate of 1 in 4. This bias skews our understanding of the full spectrum of autistic traits and presentations.

  • A 2018 study by Cassidy et al. revealed similar trends in ADHD research, with male samples significantly overrepresented compared to females. This limits our understanding of how ADHD manifests differently in women.


Dissecting the Bias 

Deep-diving into this gender bias in diagnostics, it becomes evident that societal expectations contribute heavily to the misconception that ADHD and autism are 'male conditions.' When girls and women don't fit the traditional image of these disorders, their struggles are often dismissed or misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression. Consequently, the real problem remains unidentified, depriving them of appropriate tools for management and support.


The Impact of Late Diagnosis on Women's Lives

Late diagnosis or worse, misdiagnosis, can lead to profound consequences. When women with ADHD or autism go undiagnosed, they often suffer in silence, burdened with feelings of confusion, frustration, and inadequacy. The feeling of being 'different' without knowing why can spark self-doubt and erode self-esteem, pushing them to the brink of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or even self-harm - all while the root cause remains undetected.

The Effect on Personal Relationships 

A late diagnosis can also disrupt personal relationships. Misunderstandings often arise because ADHD or autism symptoms can be mistaken for a lack of interest, care, or consideration, causing friction in relationships with partners, friends, and family.

Unveiling this hidden dimension of lives affected by undiagnosed ADHD and autism in women reveals the great need for making necessary changes in the medical community and society. It's a call to action for more inclusive research studies and diagnostic criteria, driving a shift in the perception and acceptance of women with ADHD and autism. It's time to acknowledge that an accurate picture of these conditions includes females.


Navigating the Storm: Coping Strategies for Women with ADHD and Autism


Self-Care and Management Techniques for ADHD

For women navigating ADHD, self-care is a powerful tool for managing symptoms and promoting overall well-being. Establishing consistent and personalized routines provides a foundation of structure and order, which can be helpful for many individuals with ADHD. This can contribute to increased focus, reduced stress, and improved emotional regulation.

1. Morning Routines

The day sets off on the right footing when routines start in the morning. It involves steps like maintaining a regular sleep schedule, having a nutritious breakfast, and allocating time for mental preparation ahead of the day. Embracing simple tasks like making the bed, preparing a to-do list for the day, and practicing mindfulness exercises decrease feelings of overwhelm and increase productivity.

2. Exercise and Movement

Incorporating regular physical activity is another key self-care strategy. Exercise encourages the release of endorphins, the body's natural mood lifters. Whether it's dancing to a favorite song, practicing yoga, or taking a brisk walk, consistent movement keeps the mind sharp and reduces restlessness.


Embracing Autism: Strategies for Thriving with Autism

For women living with autism, life can be a series of feelings of being misunderstood or underrepresented. However, adopting certain strategies can make the process of living with autism rewarding.


Acknowledging Challenges, Celebrating Strengths 

First and foremost, acknowledge the unique challenges autism may present, but also recognize and celebrate the strengths that autism fosters. A woman with autism might struggle with social interactions but be unparalleled in her attention to detail, creativity, and ability to think outside the box. Acknowledge the challenges, but pay attention to the strengths as well.

Building on Special Interests

Many autistic individuals have specific passions or areas of intense focus. Encourage these interests, as they can be channeled into potential careers or hobbies that provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.


Autism-Specific Support and Resources

Seek support from individuals who understand the unique challenges autism presents. An autism-specific support group, whether in-person or online, can offer crucial companionship and advice.

By employing practical, tailored coping strategies, women with ADHD and autism can successfully navigate the often challenging path their conditions present. Harnessing these strategies helps make the most of the innate potential and unique strengths exhibited by these individuals, ensuring a life of fulfillment and achievement.


The Neurodiversity Movement: A New Perspective on ADHD and Autism

Neurodiversity, an emerging perspective, posits that neurological differences such as ADHD and autism aren't flaws but instead are natural and valuable variations of the human brain. This ideology promotes acceptance and inclusion, shifting away from a pathological perspective towards a celebration of cognitive diversity.

Embracing neurodiversity encourages greater understanding and respect for individuals with these conditions, advocating for their full inclusion and participation in society. It fosters the idea that diversity includes neurological diversity, shifting the conversation around ADHD and autism from disability-focused to ability-focused.



ADHD and autism are conditions largely overlooked in women, hidden behind gender bias and societal expectations. New insights reveal a potential connection, with overlapping symptoms and neurobiological similarities.

This newfound understanding can spark change - if we act on it. Dive into research, educate others, challenge bias, and, most importantly, support the women around you. These are proactive steps that can aid in demystifying these conditions, fostering empathy, and enabling appropriate support strategies.

So, ponder this: How can your newfound awareness of this hidden connection influence your approach toward women with ADHD or autism?

We can all heed this call to awareness, empathy, and action that is truly life-changing for the people directly affected. 

If you are a female and you want to pursue whether you are autistic or not, you may do so through guided self-assessment by Lara Schaeffer, an autism coach who is also autistic and who has 30 years of experience interacting with students, parents, and colleagues. You can visit to find out more about the services and resources that are available to you.

If you are interested in working with Lara, you can check out How She Can Help you to see the different programs and packages that she offers, such as guided self-assessment, mentoring, and counseling, or the PEERS program.

If you are ready to take action and start your journey with Lara, you can book an Appointment with her today and get a consultation to discuss your needs, goals, and expectations.


Share this with your friends:

Recent posts

Autistic Insights Series

Apr 17, 2024

Lara Schaeffer to Moderate at World Autism Awareness Day 2024

Mar 19, 2024



Phone: United States 201-787-7721

© 2024, Autism Discovery. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by Kajabi. Website by Hirea, Co.